Friday, February 13, 2009

Abused mothers?

I have to admit that sometimes I feel abused. Not only it is exhausting to take good care of a baby but mine at least, tortures me at times. He slaps me on the face, yanks my glasses off my face, scratches me, twists a tender part of my breast without mercy, bites it too!, hits me with his head really hard, and the worst torture, keeps me from sleeping longer than 2 or 3 hours at a time. Yes, I do feel abused at times, and there are those moments in every mother's life when you just need to retreat, put the baby in the crib and let him cry so you can go and have a cup of tea, read a paragraph or two of a good book, or knit a few rows so you don't loose it. Lately I have been having one of those moments at least once a day.

I wonder if other moms feel the same way or I am just not keeping up because of my age...

I don't mean to complain but it sure is hard when you don't have any support system. Being from a Latino culture I sure miss having my family around these days, if nothing else just to have somebody to complain to... LOL 

My husband's family is... how can I put it... in Spanish we have a saying that describes them very well: "Brillan por su ausencia" (They standout for their absence). We only see his mom frequently and only for the past couple of years. 

My parents are divorced but they come and visit as often as they can. They fly all the way from Costa Rica at least once a year if they can afford it and call on the phone often. They both came to visit and help us when Ian was born. Actually my dad paid for mom to come and then he and his wife came shortly after. They provided tremendous emotional support during those days we weren't sure how bad Ian's birth defects were. I am so thankful for that! 

When they call they want to know details about the children, how are they doing, what are they doing new... etc... They call asking for pictures and are involved in our lives even from the distance. I feel that I took my family for granted when I lived there. I miss them. I miss how knit together families are in my country, how much everyone care for each other... I miss my culture...

Well, I left the baby cry for a while now and I have vented, so back to work!

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